To Maintain a Wide Window Of Tolerance, We Can Engage in Practices of Self-Care -- Deliberate Interventions That Support Our Overall Health and Bolster Our Ability to Offer Effective, Competent Care. - David Treleaven, "Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness"
Knowing your Window of Tolerance is a vital tool in mindfulness; I would venture to say that it is essential for self-knowing and walking through our complicated, fast-paced world. The old (as well as many current) Meditation Gurus will tell you to sit with your pain, anxiety, restlessness, anger, and suffering. Sit still and experience emotions that create discomfort until you suffer no more. But what happens when those emotions cause dissociation, panic, depression, fear, or cue traumatic experiences?
For those with PTSD, anxiety, or neurodivergence, meditation can be difficult, traumatic, and even harmful. Yes - sitting with and “feeling” your emotions is good for your emotional and mental health. I will often sit in meditation, feeling all my feelings. I will laugh while in meditation; I will cry. I will feel anger, helplessness, hopefulness, and love. But there was a time when I couldn’t sit. There was a time when if someone told me to sit with my emotions in meditation, I would likely have walked away if not reacted in anger. Even now, there are days when I cannot sit with the situations in my day, or I can’t calm my body to sit for a minute, let alone 20 minutes. When I feel this way, I know I am outside my window of tolerance.
“Window of Tolerance”, coined by Dan Siegel, a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, in his 1999 book “The Developing Mind.” “The Window of Tolerance describes the best state of ‘arousal’ or stimulation in which we are able to function and thrive in everyday life. When we exist within this window, we can learn effectively, play, and relate well to ourselves and others.” (Gov. of Jersey)
When we are outside this window, we become hyper-aroused or hypo-aroused. Emotions and situations outside of our window of tolerance trigger the activation of our sympathetic nervous system. The Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS) is the powerhouse of our Fight/Flight/Freeze response. The SNS is made up of the amygdala, hypothalamus, and the adrenal glands. The amygdala sends a distress signal often before the prefrontal cortex can evaluate the situation. Once the amygdala sends this signal, the hypothalamus activates the SNS, sending signals through the autonomic nerves to the adrenal glands, which floods the body with adrenaline. When we are hyper-aroused, we experience the fight/flight response. We are anxious, nervous, and angry. Our muscles tighten, we flush, and we feel warm. Our hearts beat faster. We are ready for action! We can’t sit still, our mind races, and we can’t concentrate. The freeze response is tied to hypo-arousal. We become withdrawn, depressed, sad, flat, and dissociative. We may feel tired. We may have trouble feeling anything; we may feel nothing at all.
Meditation strengthens the connection between the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. As communication between these two parts of the brain increases, the prefrontal cortex responds quicker to an actual or perceived threat. The gray matter of the hippocampus, which is responsible for memory and regulating emotions, thickens. The volume of the amygdala decreases, creating a delayed reaction to perceived threats. However, getting there, to the point where your meditative, mindful brain is more perfectly aligned to hold space for your window of tolerance, takes practice and time. And even then, there will still be days where our brain defaults to fight/flight/freeze, pushing us outside our window of tolerance.
So what should you do when you are not within your window of tolerance? You should sit if you believe that meditation will return you to your window without any emotional harm or trauma; however, if you know that meditation will activate your SNS, cause distress, anxiety, trauma, or cause a PTSD response, my advice is to not sit in meditation. Try another mindful practice: box breathe, practice a mind relaxation technique such as naming three things you can see, hear, touch, taste. If outdoors, take off your shoes and ground yourself into the Earth. You could also engage in acts of radical self-care: take a shower, call a friend, or eat good food. Talk to a therapist, mentor, or teacher - whatever distracts your brain before falling into anxiety, depression, or disassociation. Your emotional needs are greater than your meditation practice, and your meditation practice relies on your emotional needs being met.
Getting back to your window of tolerance after a period of anxiety, trauma, or prolonged stress can be difficult. I would advise speaking to a trained mental health professional about safely getting you back on your meditation cushion. They can work with you on finding comfort in your window of tolerance without causing harm. If professional mental healthcare is outside your reach, I recommend taking it slow. Learn to check in with yourself. Learn to understand your emotions and how to not lie to yourself about how you’re feeling. Pause and check in to determine if meditation is the best thing for you or if another form of mindfulness or self-care is currently better. If you wish to sit in meditation, don’t start with 20 minutes. This could be setting yourself up for a trauma response or a failed attempt. Start with five minutes. Don’t sit in silence: listen to guided meditation. There are many guided meditations online, and I offer recorded meditations for a small cost which you can listen to and follow. Slowly build your practice daily. Journal and check in with yourself. Make the commitment to meet yourself where you are at, taking those baby steps from surviving to thriving.
For more guidance on meditation and understanding your window of tolerance, book a 1:1 meditation guidance session with me. Book a free consultation, and we can work together on a plan to expand your window of tolerance and build your meditation practice.
My dear readers, May you be healthy. May you be safe. May you be loved.
In lovingkindness,
Krystal Linn, RMT, CHt, CLC, CMT
Sur-Thriving Meditation Events
Cited Works
Harvard Medical School. (2020, July 6). Understanding the stress response. Harvard Health Publishing. https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/understanding-the-stress-response#:~:text=After%20the%20amygdala%20sends%20a,as%20adrenaline)%20into%20the%20bloodstream.
Treleaven, D. A. (2018). Trauma-sensitive mindfulness: Practices for safe and transformative healing. W.W. Norton & Company.
The Window of Tolerance: Supporting the Wellbeing of Children and Young People. Government of Jersey . (n.d.). https://www.gov.je/SiteCollectionDocuments/Education/ID%20The%20Window%20of%20Tolerance%2020%2006%2016.pdf
Comentários