1) Limit Access
It will be hard, and in some ways, you will feel uninformed, but the abuser is the trigger for how you feel. Use media sites that filter out the opinion, the bias, and limits direct quotes. To stay informed, you do not need to listen to him to learn about the current laws, rules, and regulations. Use tools like:
https://www.factcheck.org/https://www.govtrack.us ( GovTrack provides comprehensive data on U.S. federal legislation, including current bills, past laws, and government activities. You can track specific bills, see voting records, and access summaries of key legislation without political bias or quotes from politicians.)
To help remove sensationalism and keep yourself grounded in facts.
2) Look for Opportunities to Take Small Actions
You won’t be able to storm out. Make yourself a small savings account and put a quarter in it. Even if you cannot continue to add to it, make the intention. Vote in every election. Volunteer to help others if you can. Join a march. Pack a go bag. Start your visa application. All of these small, actionable items will feel like a small win when the abuse comes down hard.
3) Give Yourself Space to be Injured
This is a long term abuse. It will hurt over and over and over again. Give yourself mental space to be hurt, as well as others around you. Wait times will be longer. Your response time will be slower. It will take longer to do normal, menial tasks. Your reactions to things might be off, or you might react like an injured animal to stimulation. Give space, and allow others to take space.
4) Talk About It
Abuse is allowed to continue because it is the best-kept secret. Do not allow this secret to fester. In places that are safe, talk, share, vent. Do not allow others to make excuses. We have been led into this space for injury, despite kicking and screaming, or perhaps quietly. Either way, the abuse is still happening. Remind those who would look away and pretend it didn't happen that it did happen, and is continuing to happen.
Even when it’s over, acknowledge that this is a shared, deep trauma to so many people. The actions have changed the course of your life today, tomorrow, and for future days to come. The best revenge you can take, is to thrive.
This blog post is posted with permission. Written by Erica Gifford
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